13 - Will My Husband Remember Me When I Get To Heaven

Day 4.  Philippians 3:7-9 “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.”

Part of our transformation is a realignment of our values.  Romans 12:2 says “don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed”. It is such a difficult thing or at least it can be difficult, to put the world and what it values in the back seat.  I really don’t know what mom valued before her transformation, but I could see clearly that she was passionate about people after her rebirth.  Recall the four older kids could not, would not, refused to believe that the changes we saw in her were real and permanent.  But, they were as time would tell.  The draw to return to the old nature and its passions is constant, relentless.  And like the frog in the pot, what seems innocent, even enjoyable will eventually cook you.  You will find yourself with a heart far away from God wondering how you got there. (What passion has God given you?) 

“if you have a relationship with God through Jesus, you don’t need to fear death. It is the door to eternity.” ^{(p40 note)} Mom thought of Don, often.  Perhaps constantly.  One day she asked me if I thought he still remembered her. (like she still remembered him I suppose) Wow! Tough question. How does the marriage relationship, biblical marriage between two Christians translate to living eternally in heaven?  (Matthew 22:25-30) “Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Why does God create us to have an affection for one another, beyond being fruitful and multiplying?  Martie and I have been married for as many years as mom and Don had been married when Don passed on to eternity. We know how the relationship deepens.  We know how the bond grows. Stronger by the day.  So, the question is “Is that it?” When one of you passes is that the limit of the relationship?  I wish I had the answer to that question.  I hope it’s not the end, and yet, God’s ways are not our ways.  What will happen, moment by moment in heaven is a mystery.  Certainly, there is a lot of conjecture and interpretations, but aside from Matthew 22, I don’t think the Bible is explicit about past relationships.  Certainly, there have been a lot of songs written, “Will The Circle Be Unbroken” for one.  There are some things we know for certain, and other things not so much.

 So what did I say to her? Actually, I didn’t answer her question. Her real question was “Charley, given that I love Don so much, will our relationship be the same in heaven?” It would have been so easy to say “Yes mom.  You know God wants you to be happy and if that is what it takes to make you happy, well …” Can’t tell you how many times I have heard a line like that.  Instead, like a man, I dodged the question.  I said, “Mom, you know what the Word says about one day in heaven. In 2 Peter 3:8–9 it says “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” She said “That’s correct.”  “Well”, I said, I did the math.  Did you know that using heaven’s standard that Don has been in heaven for 15 seconds?  He is just figuring out where he is!” She smiled. I am glad she didn’t say what she was thinking.

Martie and I were at mom’s beside when she passed.  I saw no fear only peace.  I didn’t know the answer before that day, but now she knows the answer.  And whatever the answer is, I am pretty certain that it is OK by her.

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com