5 - A New Beginning For Martie And Me

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This BLOG Is Not About Us, But ...

Although I have told you about my spiritual roots,  before I launch into the initial purpose for this BLOG which is to share my mom’s thoughts as she read the Purpose Driven Life, I think it appropriate to share about our own new beginning. Had we not had one, I would not even be typing these words.

Martie and I met in a Drug Store at a soda fountain when we were both 16.  She worked behind the counter, and I stopped by with my uncle when we were out making mattress and furniture deliveries. Martie and I  were both attracted to each other. To me she says because of my broad shoulders and the way my t-shirts fit me. Her because she was beautiful and is to this day. My shoulders are the same but the t-shirts don't fit quite the same.  But nothing came of it because we were both very shy.  

After I returned from Vietnam in 1970, I left the service to attend college.  The same uncle told me that his girlfriend had seen Martie on a bus and I should give her a call. Not being the shy young man anymore, I did.  Our first date was in May 1971.  We got married in January 1972.  I’ll do the math for you – 46 years ago. 

Martie was raised Catholic and attended Catholic schools though high school.  You already know about me.  So, when we got married, we married in a Catholic church.  Frankly, I was lost and not interested in religion so where we got married did not matter to me. For our marriage counselling, the priest talked to me about buying a new mattress and told Martie her kids were going to hell since she was marrying outside of the church. Nice!  He filled out our marriage certificate with a  red felt-tip pen.  But I really didn’t care.  The girl behind the counter was now my bride!

We didn’t have much to do with church after we got married.  My folks would talk to us about the Lord and we would patiently listen to them.  My mom would have me read something from the Bible on occasion and ask me what it meant.  I told her that I knew what she was trying to do and it was not going to work.  And then I would tell her what I thought it meant.  Little did I know at the time that God’s word does not return void.  She was seed planting. 

After I completed junior college, we moved to Jacksonville Florida with our newborn daughter where I attended the University of North Florida.  We were poor as church mice, but the beach was free.  We attended a charismatic Catholic church now and again.  The priest was a missionary from Ireland and they played guitars during the singing.  Like my dad before me, I was using alcohol to self-medicate. A classmate, another Vietnam veteran, and I would go back to my apartment during lunch and together would drink a six-pack of Old Milwaukee. Then we would go back to class.  This while Martie was at work.  Our daughter was with a sitter.  I was so self-focused.  As a result, our marriage was rocky so we attended a Marriage Encounter retreat hoping something magic would happen.  The focus of the conference was on a triune relationship between the husband, the wife and God the Father.  I still recall a woman standing up to ask a question during the wrap-up meeting. She wanted to know how Jesus fit into the relationship since He was not talked about at all during the conference.  She said she was from a local Baptist church.  I don’t recall the seminar leader’s answer but am pretty sure he avoided answering her directly.  I thought “What is a Baptist doing here?  And wasn't that an odd question?"

I had joined the Army ROTC at UNF to get the $100 a month. I had no idea that something eternal would come of that.  I did very well in ROTC.  Became the Cadet commander and was promised any branch in the Army that I wanted.  I picked Artillery - cannons.  They gave me Armor – tanks. So much for "anything I want". Proverbs 16:9 says that “men make plans in their hearts but God orders their steps”  What I thought was a mistake was really God at work. Later we would say "God makes the assignments MILPERCEN (military personnel center) just cuts or prints the orders."

After I graduated and received my commission in 1976, I was sent to Fort Knox to learn how to be an Armor officer.  Being that I was a "butter-bar", a brand new second lieutenant and I had a family, we had to live off-post in town.  Because we had to look for a house that we could afford, we asked my folks to watch our daughter for a week.  They lived about 6 hours away.  They kindly agreed, so we drove to Peoria, Illinois over the weekend.  At that time, my folks were attending Grace Presbyterian Church.  The pastor was Dr. Bruce Dunn.  They asked us to go to church with them.  Since they were watching our daughter we felt obligated to go.  Dr. Dunn was preaching on “How To Be Born Again”. It was a 2 part sermon.

We listened to the first part and returned to Fort Knox after lunch.  The next weekend we made the trip back to Peoria to fetch our daughter.  Since we were there, we were invited to attend church – again.  We agreed feeling obligated.  We were used to my folks persistence about faith in Jesus. But, we had no intention of yielding to their urgings.  We listened to the second part of the sermon, ate lunch and headed back to Kentucky.

Neither Martie nor I talked all the way back to our house.  When we got back I could not sleep.  Martie asked me what was wrong.  I said, “I have decided to do something that will change our relationship.”  She told me later that she thought I was going to ask for a divorce.  But instead I said, “I have decided to ask Jesus into my heart - to put my faith in Him as my savior.” She said, “Did you think that I might want to do that too?” The answer that went unspoken was, "No, I had not".  We both knelt down next to the bed and prayed, just like Pastor Dunn had told us. We both experienced our second beginning together just like Mom and Don had 7 years prior. Of course, we called them immediately that night and they rejoiced with us. They prayed with us and sent us a "new beginnings starter kit" - Bibles, devotionals and a Navigator Topical Memory System.

That was the beginning of a great adventure. There is so much more to tell, but this BLOG is not about us.  Some people have suggested that I write a book – perhaps I will – but for now, the focus is on recapturing a missed opportunity with my mom and gleaning from the spiritual wisdom she left as a legacy between the lines of the Purpose Driven Life. So, let’s get on with that.

Oh, one last thought, something to consider.  You can't save anyone.  Only Jesus can do that.  But don't lose hope.  Don't let that be the reason that you stay silent when the Spirit urges you to speak - to tell someone about Jesus.  My folks did not give up on us.  New beginnings are personal - between the Lord and each person. But you have a God-given purpose.  Fulfill it.

Next: The Giving Of The Book