My Biological Father Is Not My Spiritual Father
One of the challenges of blended families is that they are not in the blender long enough to be blended thoroughly. For us it was not that there is a lack of love, in our case our step dad loved us and took care of us as if we were his own. But there was a glass blood-line wall that we would bump into now and again. One of the ways that a husband and wife relationship is bound together through the children birthed from that relationship. For the other children in the blended family, whether from the former marriage of the husband or the wife they are not part of that union. It is a divide that is not spoken of and oft’ denied if it is. I can remember when I was in grade school, one of my brothers saying out of anger “You are not my brother!” It didn’t really bother me because I knew he was just doing his best to be a jerk, It is what brothers do! But my mom came unglued over it. That was the only time in my recollection that she stood in my defense.
I am not seeking sympathy here. I want to emphasize just how difficult it is to find balance in a blended family. How impossible it is to undo what has been done. How very often the kids are expected to stuff their emotions which only leads to bitterness and resentment.
So that is the context in which my step-dad tried to be the best father figure he could be. He taught me my work ethic. He modeled a sense of humor that is an integral part of me today. So what about his new beginning. He was good and kind. I can remember that he would take time, as tired as he was from working hard six days a week and play whiffle-ball with us in the back yard.
I knew that he had surrendered his life to the Lord around the same time that mom had. I knew about his passion for Jesus and for sharing the Gospel wherever he went. I knew that he discipled young men and women through their church and through a ministry that they started in their home. They called that ministry Pathfinder and, yes, that is the derivation of the name for our ministry. He passed into the presence of Jesus in November 28, 1999. But to talk about his rebirth I need to start in 1951.
He was, is, and always will be a Marine. Just ask anyone who served in the Corps, they will tell you “Once a Marine – always a Marine” He had joined the USMC Reserves after WW2 and found himself in Korea. While there he met a Chaplain. In the Marine Corps chaplains and medics are Navy. The Chaplain’s name was Hank Austin. (I shared this story with a group of Navy Chaplains some years back to encourage them in their ministry as part of our work with Campus Crusade for Christ Military Ministry and Military Missions Network. I may share that in a later post) At any rate, on July 17, 1951 Chaplain Austin gave him a small bible which he carried in his left breast pocket for the rest of the war. On the inside cover was the inscription John 1:12 which reads “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”
I believe that Chaplain Austin, who happened to be a Baptist preacher, planted a seed on that day. That seed finally sprouted in 1969 and bore much fruit for the kingdom. You never know how
God will use you in the faith journey of someone else. I doubt that Chaplain Austin would have
remembered Dad for long after he moved on to the next foxhole. There were so many Marines that needed to be encouraged and
pointed to Jesus. When the Lord prompts
you to do something – do it! Don’t
baulk. Don’t think that maybe you will do it at
a more convenient time. Today is the
appointed time. Today is the day of
salvation.
When my mom told him that she was going to give her heart to Jesus, she said that he left the house. She didn’t know what was going to happen. A little while later he returned. He said to her “Let’s do this together!” And they did. He was one of the most compassionate and patient people I have ever known. He loved the word of God. When you asked him a question, he would take you to the Bible and say "Let's see what the Bible has to say about that." (2 Timothy 3:16) He was like the Maranatha song says - "a man of the Spirit - a man of the Word."
When my mom told him that she was going to give her heart to Jesus, she said that he left the house. She didn’t know what was going to happen. A little while later he returned. He said to her “Let’s do this together!” And they did. He was one of the most compassionate and patient people I have ever known. He loved the word of God. When you asked him a question, he would take you to the Bible and say "Let's see what the Bible has to say about that." (2 Timothy 3:16) He was like the Maranatha song says - "a man of the Spirit - a man of the Word."
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| Me, Martie, and Don |
Don was my spiritual father.
He showed me what right looks like when it comes to living for Jesus and
not being ashamed. He wouldn't let me call him Dad. I asked once if it would be OK and he said that I had a dad and should respect him. But, what blood could not
bind together .. the Spirit of God bound together for eternity. The glass wall was shattered just like the
curtain in temple was torn. All three sons have a
new DNA – in fact, the entire family has a new DNA.
A common DNA. We don’t need a genealogy report to tell us where our roots are.
We are not blended together anymore – we are one in Christ. I know that the Father is conforming me into the image of the Son (Romans 8:29) , but I figure if I can just be like Don, well that would be something now, wouldn't it?
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