24 - Living For God

To the question posed on page 318 “Will you serve God’s purpose in your generation?” ^{(p318 note)} Mom wrote “Yes!” I think she wrote that in 2006 which meant she had 4 more years to serve before God called her home.  She underlined “Our purpose is to please God, not people.” ^{(p318 note)} At what point in your life you commit to serve God has nothing to do with how old you are, but with how surrendered you are.

Who are you most concerned about pleasing? Your family? Your spouse? Your boss? Perhaps, yourself. That is the natural view toward this life that we live.  Mom was human – living with the “tug-o-war” that goes on in everyone’s heart, every day. Just like every other Christian.  Living for God doesn’t happen on its own.  That life requires deliberate action on the part of the one living it.  Jesus said (Matthew 16:24) “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” That is a deliberate decision which must be made every day, not just once in a lifetime. Saying “no” to the natural and “yes” to the super-natural.

The Bibles gives us plenty of examples.  Some of the people were successful and some were not.  C'est la vie!  When Lot’s wife was told to leave Sodom behind – not to look back – she failed.  She could not subordinate her devotion to the natural to her devotion to God.  When the rich young man was told to get rid of his wealth – the thing that he loved more than God – and follow Jesus with nothing in the bank – he could not.  When the young man told Jesus that he had to bury his father before he could commit to follow Jesus, Jesus said “Let the dead bury the dead.  Making a distinction between the natural and the super-natural.  In each circumstance, the issue was one of their devotion of the heart.  They loved their natural life more than God.

Reading books like Purpose Driven Life, even the Bible, has no real benefit if the truth revealed is not embraced and applied by the reader. Although she was by no means perfect, mom’s desire was to live her life in a manner that pleased her Father in heaven – and not men.

Listen, knowledge, that is not applied, puffs up (1 Corinthians 8:1).  My hope is that in my sharing her thoughts – and my thoughts about her thoughts – has served to encourage you to embrace and apply the Truths that the Spirit has illuminated in your heart.  You have but one life to live on this planet.  Live it in pursuit of God’s purpose.  Don’t squander the opportunity that God has given you.

This will be the last post for this series.  In November I will endeavor to write a book with the hope that in doing so, I can continue to encourage the Saints to walk by faith with an expectation that God will be by their side.  I have not been released from helping in Houston or in Haiti, so that work will continue.

I will leave you by quoting Don Moen’s song “When It’s All Been Said And Done.”

“When it's all been said and done. There is just one thing that matters 
Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done. All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done for love's reward. Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great. That you look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay. Turning sinners into saints.

And I will always sing your praise. Here on earth and ever after
For you've shown me heavens, my true home. When it's all been said and done

You're my life when life is gone... “

Amen

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

23 - God Will Let You Know When You Are Done

Well, here we are, the last section of the book – Day 40 “Living With Purpose.”  Yes, we jumped over a number of pages.  I scanned them and did not find any of mom’s notes or annotations.  However, on page 312 she penned these words – “God prevailed in Charley’s life.”  Her comment was in reference to Acts 13:36 “Now when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his ancestors and his body decayed.” Why did she associate me with that verse? Let me explain.

February 2004 was a milestone in my spiritual journey.  Dr. Henry Blackaby would call it a spiritual marker.  Martie was in Texas with our daughter attending a funeral.  About mid-week, I experienced pain in the bottom of my left foot.  It became so uncomfortable that I could not stand for more than a few minutes at a time.  I went to our family physician a told him I thought I had a blood clot.  He x-rayed my foot and ankle and told me it was an injury from my Army days.  He gave me a prescription for Celebrex and sent me home.

The next day I noticed my heart was racing.  Checking the Celebrex bottle, a symptom was tachycardia – a hyper fast heartbeat.  So, I stopped taking it.  Fast forward to 2:00am the next morning.  It was getting worse. I called Martie and told her that I was going to the emergency room.  She got in her car and headed to Alabama.  At the emergency room, they treated me for a heart attack.  A nurse told me I was hyperventilating and gave me a paper bag to breath in to. About 15 minutes later, the doctor on duty stopped by.  (He happened to be the best cardiologist in Montgomery.) He told the staff I did not have a heart attack but had a pulmonary embolism and changed the treatment. (Actually, it turned out that I had two.  One in each lung.)

After several days of tests and treatment, the doctor told us that I was not improving and the only treatment option left had a very high risk.  It would dissolve every clot in my body, to include the good ones. He said if that happened I would bleed out and they could not stop it.  I asked if Martie and I could talk about it and when would he need an answer.  He answered, “Right now.” To which I replied, “I trust the God I serve and I trust you.  Let’s do it.” 

As it happened, I had just read Day 40 of the Purpose Driven Life.  I told Martie that I believed Acts 13:36 was for me.  That until I had fulfilled God’s purpose for me in my generation, I was not going anywhere. And once I have, no one can keep me here.  

That is why mom wrote “God prevailed. “She knew what had happened to me and how God had intervened.  I recall waking up one night in the hospital when a nurse opened the door to my room to check on me.  She said “You know that you are blessed, don’t you?” I said “yes I do.”  The whole staff on that floor knew that I had survived the un-survivable.  It was a miracle. I am certain that many knew that it was because God prevailed.

Like Paul, I have a thorn in my side to this day.  I was spared, but not completely healed.  My left leg still swells every day.  My lower calf is discolored because the blood clot in my leg became scar tissue and limits the blood flow.  I have partial lung capacity because of the damage caused by the embolisms. (This is the first time that I have shared this with anyone besides my wife. It seems to be the appropriate time.) They are ailments that serve to remind me of my absolute dependence upon God – every day.

Just yesterday I had the opportunity to share Acts 13:36 with a man who is seeking the Lord, trying to find meaning in his life.  (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) “the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”

Since 2004, our life has taken a turn.  We have spent most of the past 14 years serving others, and exercising the gifts that God has granted to us.  He has shaped us for His purpose.  So, what about you?  What is it that God has purposed for you?  He has one for you, you know.  It may not be like ours, but you can bet it will be for the good of mankind and the glory of God.  All you need to do is yield your life to God.

(Note: I think there will be at least one more post in this series.  This has been a joy and I trust it has been a source of encouragement to your faith as you walk in the Way.)

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

22 - Serving Even When You Are Tired, Weak and Worn

 “If you are part of God’s family, your mission is mandatory. To ignore it would be disobedience.” ^{(p283 note)} Mom added an exclamation mark (!) to that last sentence.  [She had plenty of reasons that might tempt her to say “I am done.”]  Was she struggling with fulfilling the mission God had assigned? When you think of “super-saints”, you really don’t imagine that they struggle with obedience.  The “demons” that assail them may seem trivial to most of us.  Perhaps like a gnat buzzing around your head as compared to say, a swarm of killer bees attacking you.  But, people in hot pursuit of God – wanting to be fully yielded to His will, are not willing to accommodate even a gnat. Not if it hinders their relationship with and obedience to the Father. 

Having said that, what I am about to say should not be construed to mean that I think I am more than I am. I am reminded of Romans 12:3. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”  In my estimation, I am not in the same league – spiritually – as mom and Don were. They were in the “Bigs” and I am struggling in the minor league.  Having said that, today, after working on restoring the Smith house in 100 degree weather, Martie asked me if I was tired.  

I answered, “Yes, I’m tired, but, then, I am always tired.” What we do is very difficult, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Her eyes welled up in tears.  She said, “I don’t want you to be tired.” When you serve God – you may find yourself in a difficult place – physically, emotionally, spiritually, even financially.  Maybe all four.  But that is not a reason to quit.  (Galatians 6:9) “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”  Just because I don’t complain or even comment does not mean that what I do does not take its toll on me.  The measure of being right with God’s purpose is not the ease of the mission, but the peace in your heart.

I imagine that mom wondered if she should continue to serve.  That thought buzzing around in her head like a little gnat.  Her desire was to go to heaven – but the Lord had a purpose for her and she was determined to be obedient to her calling.  And to that thought she said (!). [and so do I by the way!] 

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

21 - For Just being Two Letters – OK – Is A Big Word

OK – That was the word she wrote in the margin. OK? OK – What?  “When Peter’s sick mother-in-law was healed by Jesus, she instantly ‘stood up and began to serve Jesus.’ [Matthew 8:15] She began using her new gift of health.  This is what we are to do.  We are healed to help others.  We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve, not to sit around and wait for heaven.” ^{(p229 note)} That is what she said OK to.

No one would blame her if she did sit around – when compared to many other Christians – she had done more than enough serving for one lifetime.  But we are not the ones who get to decide when enough is enough.  We are not the captain of our ships and many mutiny against the captain.  We mutiny for the bounty – the bountiful, natural, comfortable life.  A life free of any worry, loss, or sacrifice.

Knowing how important my wife and I are to each other, I can only imagine what it would be like if one of us should be called home before the other.  We serve together like a hand in a glove. Then, suddenly, there is no hand to fill the glove or no glove to cover and protect the hand. It would only be natural to think the time to serve had also passed along with the one we loved. The super-natural truth is that it is God who shapes us, fills us, empowers us and provides the opportunities for service – not our mate.

Perhaps mom had been thinking that she should just wait for heaven, and then the Spirit spoke to her heart. The common temptation when the Spirit speaks is to dispel the thought.  1 Thessalonians 5:19 says “Do not quench the Spirit.” Why would we have to be told that if it were not going to be a problem, a temptation for us? The moment Mom wrote “OK” she had overcome the temptation, yielded her heart – her will, to the Spirit’s leading.  

Recently someone told me that after I finished the house I am working on, I could stop knowing that I had done enough. But, it is God who decides that, not me.  And with respect to your life, not you. Jesus said “if you seek the praise of men, you have your reward.” (Matthew 6:1) as such, it will not be men who decide what for the glory of God and the good of men will be.  Nor when that service will come to an end.  

“Anytime you are using your God-given abilities to help others, you are fulfilling your calling” ^{(p229 note)} Mom highlighted and underlined that sentence.  For her and, I think, for me. “He is the potter and we are the clay.  Mold me and make me.  Have thine own way, Lord, have thine own way.”

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

20 - A Servant's Heart

As I write these vignettes about my mom, I often find that I cannot elude the need to share my life in the process.  Although not by design it is proving to be cathartic in a way.  So, I ask for your indulgence if, now and again, I drift for a moment.  

Belview Nursing Home, Josephine, Evelyn, Bill, Jean, me, Billy, Roy, Rhoda. 6-29-06.  Those are the names mom wrote at the bottom of page 225. ^{(p225 note)} I have tried to imagine the connection.  Some of the names I know.  Belview Nursing Home is where mom and Don served the elderly for many years.  There are many forgotten people in those places.  Sometimes people are moved to a nursing home for good reasons and other times for not so good reasons, like the family did not want to be burdened.  That is where mom and Don stepped in.  Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another’s burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” When you do that it requires a sacrifice – you are going to get your hands dirty and maybe your heart hurt.  Mom and Don were never shy about stepping into difficult relationships – the selflessness was fueled by their faith.

Josephine was one of mom’s sisters.  The black sheep of the family.  I suspect that she was bi-polar.  But mom was her anchor.  Evelyn was a friend that I didn’t know much about.  Bill and Jean.  Bill was my biological father and Jean, his second wife.  There was always tension with them.  I think that is the rule and not the exception.  Mom once told me that Bill continued to pursue her even after she remarried.  Remember, she divorced him.  Divorces fracture lives and relationships.  I hear about amicable separations, like that somehow excuses the damage done.   Matters of the heart are so complex – so difficult – so painful.  God hates divorce and I have a few emotional scars that remind me of why exactly that is.

Mom wrote her won name, “me”.  This list was not only a list of those she had served.  So why did she write the names? And why in 2006?  That was fully three years after I gave her the book. Apparently, she had laid the book down and then picked it back up again. Looking at the scripture reference, 1 Corinthians 3:5-6, the verse was about our role in the lives of others – serving – planting the seed of the Gospel – watering that seed. Perhaps this was a list of those she had served, prayed for, shared the Gospel with – or in her case – had the eternal seed planted in her heart. God knows.

Then there was my name.  She used Billy.  My childhood nickname.  Most of you reading this did not know that. I am a third.  Charles Earl Elgin III.  My grandfather is pictured on the left with the four Elgin kids. And yes, that is me in the Oshkosh bibs with Grandpa Elgin trying to hold me still.  My grandfather went by Earl.  My dad by Bill.  When I was born they called me little Bill or Billy.  I was known as Bill until my Junior year in high school when I changed it to Charley or Chas (a name my sisters in the picture gave me). I tell people I was tired of explaining why, if my name was Charles, they called me Bill.  Actually, thinking about it, I think that I was distancing myself from my association with my dad – and more directly with the pain in my heart.

 I don’t know who Roy and Rhoda were, but obviously they were people who were significant to her for one reason or another. 

“The last thing many believers need today is to go to another bible study.  They already know far more that they are putting into practice.” “I am looking for a place to serve and be a blessing.” “Whose needs can I meet?” ^{(p231 note)} When mom underlined those sentences she was about 80 years old.  There is no age limit on serving.  The picture on the left was taken in the fall of 2005 behind Christus Victor Lutheran Church in Ocean Springs, MS.  Pictured are Barb Plattner, Mom, Martie, me, and Sherry Buresh.  Mom was 80 years old.  Martie and I were helping with Disaster Relief after Hurricane Katrina.  Mom wanted to come and help so Barb drove her down.  They both worked in the food distribution center.  Behind us and to the right was our home away from home.  Barb and mom slept on cots in a common room with many other volunteers.  

Imagine if a business decided to lay off all of its experienced employees and left it to the new people who were just learning the ropes.  That is what many churches do today.  They shuffle the “old people”, the “seniors” off to a room by themselves.  They put them on a bus headed for Branson, MO.  It is as if they have no spiritual value. And to make matters worse, most of the “seniors” buy into it and retire from service.  (That is why Martie and I refuse to go to a seniors’ class on Sunday morning.) Mom was, even then, wanting to serve – to meet someone’s needs – to share her wisdom. A word of advice to you – don’t get on that bus!  Serve until the Lord calls you home. 

19 - When Being Good Just Isn't Good Enough

When I read mom’s note on page 178, two things came to mind.  First, it reminded me again of my mom’s great love for her husband.  Second, it reminded me of the great transformation in the life of my step-dad.  Don had always been a wonderful role model for me. Even before Jesus, he was kind, responsible, patient, especially with my mom.  He was a hard worker.  He provided for the family – all seven of us, the best he could.  

Like many second marriages there was a tension between the families.  As one of the four older children from the first marriage we all knew that we were not Piersons.  Not ever from Don, but from his sisters and parents.  I never had a harsh word spoken to me, but I knew there was a relational line for the four of us that we could never cross.  I once asked Don if I could call him Dad.  He told me “No, you have a dad.”  He wasn’t being mean, but respectful. But, what he did not seem to understand is that I wanted him to be my dad. And I must confess, to this day, when I say “Don”, in my mind and heart, I am saying “Dad”. Funny, but even now when I refer to him in a conversation, I still stumble over the word, Don.

Divorce in the 50’s and 60’s was not a prevalent as it is today.  To my recollection, we were the only children in our grade school whose last names did not match our mother’s. When asked why our name was different, it made me feel like I had done something wrong. There was something wrong, but it was not my fault and no one would tell me that. All that to say, Don did the best he could to overcome those challenges.  He never treated us differently from the younger siblings, his biological children.   He was a good man.  But when it comes to God, good is not good enough.  When a young man referred to Jesus as “Good Teacher” Jesus replied (Mark 10:18) Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone.”  As good a man as Don was, he was not good enough.  None of us are.  We can’t live the Christian life apart from the power of God, the presence of His Spirit, and our will submitted to the will of the Father. 

Mom knew Don in a way that we did not.  We knew him as children, while she knew him as her husband, intimately. Intimacy between and husband and wife has more than the sexual connotation that our culture ascribes to the word today.  A speaker once described it as meaning “into me see”.  A deeper understanding of who a person is.  And she saw the change that took place in Don’s life, after his new beginning.

So how does it happen and why doesn’t God just “scoop us up to heaven” when we are saved?  “God gives us time on earth to build and strengthen our character for heaven” ^{(p173 note)} I think mom was wanting to be in heaven when she was reading the PDL.  The Bible says (Hebrews 9:27) “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.”  We are all going to die, unless Jesus returns first.  God does not tell you when you will die and certainly not how you will die.  But you will die one day.  Until then, God will continue to work in your life, conforming you into the image of His Son, if you allow it that is.

“Everything … connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through.  Get rid of it!” ^{(p175 note)} Mom saw that happen in Don’s life.  “The old passing away, all things becoming as new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) And she thanked the Lord for it.  She saw Jesus in Him and so did we.  It made me want to be like him even more.

“If you study and apply God’s Word, connect regularly with other believers, and learn to trust God in difficult circumstances, I guarantee you will become more like Jesus.” ^{(p176 note)} When mom underlined these words, I am fairly certain she was thinking about Don.  That is who I think about.  And I also think about my mom who followed in Don’s footsteps. Just like I am doing.  Do you have a Don in your life, who is living proof that faith in Jesus can and will transform your life? If you don't you need one!

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

18 - Making God First In Your Life Requires Sacrifice

Something that I noticed about Mom was the deep relationship she had with the Lord.  Rick Warren wrote “God wants more than an appointment in your schedule.  He wants to be included in every activity, every conversation, every problem, even every thought” ^{(p87 note)} 

I could see that in her life.  After Don’s passing, Jesus was her focus.  I heard a pastor once say “Most people don’t know Jesus is all they need until Jesus is all they have.”  It is so easy to let your primary devotion be to the one you can see rather than the one you can’t see.  There is a relational tension.  Hopefully your love for your spouse is primary with respect to your earthly relationships. But God wants that relationship to be secondary to your relationship with Him.  

I remember Mom talking to me about her struggle with the fact that she, at times, felt that she loved Don more than Jesus.  It is a problem that started in the Garden.  Adam was faced with a dilemma.  Listen to God or listen to Eve.  He chose poorly.  But, after Don’t passing, although she longed for Don to be back in her life, on earth or in heaven, her life was focused on her relationship with the Lord.  

Martie and I use Amos 3:3 (among others) as a guide in our walk of faith.  “How can two walk together unless they be agreed?” The Bible says (Mark 10:6-8) “Jesus replied.  “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” So we reasoned, If we are “one” why would God speak to one half and not the other half? We must agree that it is God and not our own idea.  One might be excited and the other fearful, but we both must agree that it is God.  Even in a strong relationship that is Christ-centered, there is a temptation to choose the spouse over God.  

On a number of occasions, Jesus told people who said they wanted to follow Him that they must choose Him over family.  Martie and I have agreed that we will not do anything where there is disagreement between us.  The assumption is that our primary interest and motivation is in serving and obeying God and preserving our comfort and security in our natural relationships and worldly possessions. We love each other but we, each, love God more.  If you are not careful, your relationship with your spouse or family can become a god in your life.  A priority that you may feel justified in defending.  But if you put anyone before God, you will be wrong. Are you willing to put your marriage, your family on the altar before God? Think about it.

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

17 - Putting God Ahead Of Your Heart

Day 13.  One of the challenges of writing this series on my mom’s response to the Purpose Driven Life is that I must try to filter what she emphasized through the life that I remember.  That is like seeing the tip of an iceberg and assuming that it is like an ice cube when it is really like a mountain floating in the sea.  All you can see it the pinnacle.  There is so much more that remains unseen.  I must resist the temptation of imagining in lieu of knowing.  So, as I scan the pages of the book, I wait for something to catch hold of a memory. 

"There is nothing, absolutely nothing, more important than developing a friendship with God.” ^{(p99 note)} I remember after coming back from Vietnam, I stayed at the house for a while.  Recall, I returned to a transformed house.  A place that honored God first and foremost.  Well, I returned with some habits that were consistent with Mom and Don’s old life, but not their new one.  The music I listened to.  Some of the music used God’s name in vain.  Racy for the 1970’s.  I would bring beer into the house and Mom would toss it in the trash.  I would smoke cigarettes in the house. All these things that had once been “acceptable” were no more.  I was disrespecting my parents, but I really didn’t care.

I drank excessively after I returned from Vietnam.  Alcohol was the “drug of choice” for generations of veterans coping with PTSD after returning from war.  It was not any different for me. One day, I was in the truck on a delivery with Don.  He said “Your mom packed your bags and put them on the porch.  You will have to find some place to live.” I knew that I deserved it.  I called one of my sisters and she helped me find an apartment, that day.

I am convinced that mom’s decision was a difficult one for her.  And yet, she chose to honor God even if it meant rejecting me, my life choices really.  We are faced with decisions like that every day.  If there are children, brothers and sisters, friends that contend for your devotion, that demand that you choose them over God, I want you to know that it is normal.  And it is difficult.

Your heart may say “embrace your children.” No matter what.  Even if it means embracing their sin and rejecting God’s truth. Mom and I never talked about that day.  We didn’t need to. So what would have happened if she had tolerated it?  I would have continued to disrespect them and their new way of life.  I might even have represented a temptation in my doing the very things that were no longer part of their lives.  I really don’t know.  But I do know that it is a lesson I will not forget.  It is a lesson that has shaped me and helped me understand that we will have to make difficult choices.  Choices that require putting God ahead of our hearts.

(Luke 9:59-62) “He [Jesus] said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

There will always be a tension created by the demands between our old and new natures. Listening to someone you love tell you that you are not a good person, even a good Christian, if you choose God over them can be heart wrenching. Like Lot’s wife who looked back to Sodom after God sent them away from the city to spare their lives.  Her heart never left the city.  To live our new life requires faith in God. Don’t expect the world, even your family, to rejoice when you say “no” to them and “yes” to God.  Mom was willing to make that choice.  Over the years, Martie and I have had to make that choice.  Was it easy? No.  Was it necessary? Absolutely.  Will they like you for it? Probably not.  Will it cause division? Perhaps. Can you do it? Yes, but it requires spiritual discernment and the power of God in your life which results from your choosing God above all else. Thanks you Mom! Thank you Jesus!

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan.

16 - Glorifying God In The Midst Of A Storm

Glorifying God In The Midst Of A Storm

Day 7.  I can’t begin to address all of the text that mom highlighted in the book. Certainly, every annotation was an indication that what was written spoke to her heart in some way.  It would not be appropriate for me to “imagine” what she was thinking. But, I think I can speak to some of the points that she thought were significant at the time. 

"Everything Is For His Glory.” Romans 11:36 ^{(p53 note)} What is the scope of “everything” do you think?  Does “everything” encompass all of the good, the bad and the ugly?  Are you willing to allow God to use your life, your joys and your sorrows for His glory?  So, what is His Glory? I “GOOGLED” it in hopes of sounding brilliant.  No luck! So, let’s just say that God is good and God is great.  He alone deserves all the credit.  Jesus, when called good, said “Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone.” (Mark 10:18) God is always sovereign. 

“Living the rest of your life for the glory of God will require a change in your priorities, your schedule, your relationships, and everything else.”  ^{(p 57 note)} My daughter describes it as needing to change the people, places and things in your life, if you are going to live for God’s glory. (2 Corinthians 4:8-12) “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

Revealing Jesus in our lives, by the way we respond to life’s events brings glory to God.  As I reviewed my mom’s reaction to the truths that Rick Warren shared in PDL, I realized just how much I under-appreciated the way that she persevered in her loss of the most important person in her life.  You know, it is so easy to trivialize the loss of a husband or wife or child.  We all know about the grief process.  But for the most part, we just want the person to “get over it”, to “move on”.  I am feeling very convicted because of my lack of compassion and understanding.  Perhaps that is one reason why the Lord has had me helping so many widows here in Texas. (James 1:27) “…Visiting the widows in their affliction…”. If, you are going to do that, it is going to cost you something.  Many, if not most, are not willing to pay the price.  We don’t mind putting our feet in the water, but we have no intention of jumping in the pool.   I think we can be very selfish in that regard.  We want people to get past their pain so we can be more comfortable around them.  Our concern is really not about them at all. Does that sound harsh? The truth often does. (Proverbs 27:6) “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

I have worked with a lot of volunteers over the years.  I have met so many wonderful people.  But amongst those wonderful people are those that are clearly more concerned about what they, personally, are getting out of the experience.  The people they are helping are just a means to find personal gratification. As soon as the volunteer returns home, the people they helped are forgotten.  That is the danger I am speaking of.  We must be on our guard, lest we, ourselves, fall.

I cannot get over the memory of my mom standing at the back door. Silently, seemingly lost in her memories and perhaps longings for days gone by and looking to the hills in her hope for the eternity to come. “Charley.  Do you think Don remembers me?” So telling.  I know now that she was asking a much bigger question.

Isn’t this a curious life we live?  On the one hand we live under the consequences of Adam’s fateful decision. At the same time, we live with an eternal hope which helps us see beyond our times of trouble to that distant land that draws nearer day by day.  

15 - What Do You See When You Look Out Your Back Door?

Day 6.  “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.  Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away.” Psalm 39:4 ^{(p47 note)}

Mom highlighted that verse.  Did days seem to drag on for her?  Was she anticipating the day when she would be with Jesus and Don in heaven?  Does that sound morbid?  Well, it’s not. God has numbered our days on this earth.  Just enough days to accomplish His purpose that was established before the earth was formed. It would be a mistake to think that at some point we should just sit around and wait for that day.  Like someone once said, “The Bible does not speak of retirement.”  Mom’s ministry was not as vibrant as it had been, but she remained a student of the Word and encourager of the Saints. Still, my mind keeps going back to the picture of her staring out the back door at the sunset.  What did she see?  What was she thinking about? 

“If you call God your Father, live your time as temporary residents  on earth.” 1 Peter 1:17  ^{(p 48 note)} 

Mom highlighted the verse and underlined “temporary residents”. If we can believe that and embrace that, it will radically change our attitude about what is important in life.  If you watch TV, the answer is living large, being comfortable, retiring with as much money as you can. But if you are only here temporarily, why do you have a death grip on earthly treasures?  I think mom got it.  Although she lived in a very nice house, that was not what was important to her.  She was, “satisfied with just a cottage below. A little silver and a little gold. But in that city where the ransomed will shine. [She wants] a gold one that's silver lined.  [She’s] got a mansion just over the hilltop In that bright land where we'll never grow old. And some day yonder we'll never more wander. But walk on streets that are purest gold”.  (Daniel O'Donnell - Mansion Over The Hilltop Lyrics)

 “We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 ^{(p50 note)} 

She highlighted this verse as well.  I think that what mom saw when she looked at the sunset out of her back door was the eternal.  How about you?  What do you see when you look out your back door?

“At death you won’t leave home – you will go home” ^{(p51 note)} That too was highlighted. If you believed that, your life will be less filled with worries and frustration.  To believe it means you must have a spiritual perspective on your life on this planet. To have a spiritual perspective you must make the effort to draw close to God and distance yourself from the things of this world and the things that your culture says are the measures of a successful life.  I will leave you with a couple of verses to think about.

1 John 2:15 “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them.”

Joshua 1:8-9 “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.  This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

On the lighter side.  While in Saudi Arabia during Desert Shield and Desert Storm, I served on 3^rd Army Staff – G-3 Aviation Operations.  Mom was convinced I was General Schwarzkopf’s right-hand man. Not true.  He was commander in chief of Central Command.  She would watch his briefings on CNN, hoping to catch a glimpse of me.  I never even saw the guy. Anyway, she had my picture standing on a rooftop in Riyadh printed on a sweatshirt.  Many people thought I had been killed and offered her their condolences.  That was my mom!

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

14 - Standing The Test – What Does God Want From Me?

Day 5.  “Life Is A Test” ^{(page 42 note)} Mom’s character, faith, hope and love for others was tested after Don passed.  Really, there were three landmarks in her life.  In 1925 when she was born naturally.  In 1969 when she was born supernaturally. And in 1999 when the love of her life passed into eternity.  When we would visit her after that time, I would watch her.  She seemed distant, distracted, contemplative.  She would stand at the back-patio door and stare out over the fields and farms. She would watch the setting sun.  Was she waiting for the day when the Lord would call her home, too?  She seemed to be. 

God uses testing to refine us: but for what purpose? When we go to heaven we will be like Jesus … “no more cryin’ there .. we are going to see the king – soon and very soon”. In the blink of an eye she would say and then snap her fingers.  She would have a twinkle in her eyes. 

Since coming to Houston to help with Hurricane Harvey Recovery, we have been honored to meet with a number of widows.  They are all being tested, but why them, why not the husband?  Bondye Konnen.  That is Creole for God knows. 

God tested Hezekiah’s heart.  (2 Chronicles 32:31) Certainly, He tested mom’s.  My conclusion ... so long as we have breath, God will test us to cause our light to shine brighter each day that we walk on this planet.

“Well done good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21 ^{(page 45 note)} Next to that scripture she wrote “Don”. Don’s name shows up throughout this book.  Oh, how she loved Him and oh, how she admired him for the way he lived out his faith.  

Rick Warren wrote “money is the greatest test of all. God watches how we use money to test how trustworthy we are.” ^{(page 46 note)}  She circled that.  For some reason she struggled with that.  When Rick Warren asked “Can you be trusted with spiritual riches?” ^{(page 46 note)}, she wrote, “I am not sure at this moment.”  This is where I would like to be able to ask what she meant by that.  She seemed to be a very good steward of the money she had to live on.  Perhaps she struggled with how she lived as compared to other people in this world.  I don’t really know.  What I do know is that God will test us, even in and, perhaps, especially in those things in which we might think we are strong, lest we think that we can do it without God.  

Could it be that mom loved Don more than she loved God? I can see where that might be an issue.  Does that mean that God would call Don to heaven to test mom?  No, I don’t think so.  Could it be that God would test mom’s heart after Don passed to see whom she loved more?  Perhaps.  When someone like Don is, well, like Jesus. Perhaps sometimes it is hard to distinguish the two apart.  But, Bondye Konnen.

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

13 - Will My Husband Remember Me When I Get To Heaven

Day 4.  Philippians 3:7-9 “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.”

Part of our transformation is a realignment of our values.  Romans 12:2 says “don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed”. It is such a difficult thing or at least it can be difficult, to put the world and what it values in the back seat.  I really don’t know what mom valued before her transformation, but I could see clearly that she was passionate about people after her rebirth.  Recall the four older kids could not, would not, refused to believe that the changes we saw in her were real and permanent.  But, they were as time would tell.  The draw to return to the old nature and its passions is constant, relentless.  And like the frog in the pot, what seems innocent, even enjoyable will eventually cook you.  You will find yourself with a heart far away from God wondering how you got there. (What passion has God given you?) 

“if you have a relationship with God through Jesus, you don’t need to fear death. It is the door to eternity.” ^{(p40 note)} Mom thought of Don, often.  Perhaps constantly.  One day she asked me if I thought he still remembered her. (like she still remembered him I suppose) Wow! Tough question. How does the marriage relationship, biblical marriage between two Christians translate to living eternally in heaven?  (Matthew 22:25-30) “Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Why does God create us to have an affection for one another, beyond being fruitful and multiplying?  Martie and I have been married for as many years as mom and Don had been married when Don passed on to eternity. We know how the relationship deepens.  We know how the bond grows. Stronger by the day.  So, the question is “Is that it?” When one of you passes is that the limit of the relationship?  I wish I had the answer to that question.  I hope it’s not the end, and yet, God’s ways are not our ways.  What will happen, moment by moment in heaven is a mystery.  Certainly, there is a lot of conjecture and interpretations, but aside from Matthew 22, I don’t think the Bible is explicit about past relationships.  Certainly, there have been a lot of songs written, “Will The Circle Be Unbroken” for one.  There are some things we know for certain, and other things not so much.

 So what did I say to her? Actually, I didn’t answer her question. Her real question was “Charley, given that I love Don so much, will our relationship be the same in heaven?” It would have been so easy to say “Yes mom.  You know God wants you to be happy and if that is what it takes to make you happy, well …” Can’t tell you how many times I have heard a line like that.  Instead, like a man, I dodged the question.  I said, “Mom, you know what the Word says about one day in heaven. In 2 Peter 3:8–9 it says “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.” She said “That’s correct.”  “Well”, I said, I did the math.  Did you know that using heaven’s standard that Don has been in heaven for 15 seconds?  He is just figuring out where he is!” She smiled. I am glad she didn’t say what she was thinking.

Martie and I were at mom’s beside when she passed.  I saw no fear only peace.  I didn’t know the answer before that day, but now she knows the answer.  And whatever the answer is, I am pretty certain that it is OK by her.

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

12 - Don’t Be A Christian Crippled By Your Past – You Have Been Set Free

Highlighted by mom, “Everyone’s life is driven by something”. ^{(p27 note)}  It’s true.  I wondered, what was driving her life?  Then she underlined “painful memory”. ^{(p27 note)}  Mom kept her past “close to her vest”.  Everyone has one or more negative events that have impacted them at some point, both before and after their new birth.  The magnitude of the event varies from person to person, but those events can shape us, numb us, even isolate us.  I would tell my children, “The worst thing you have experienced is the worst thing you know.”  What they might see as a catastrophe in their lives may, in fact, be trivial compared to the hardships that many others face.  But it is the worst thing they have experienced, so how could it get any worse?  Answer, you don’t want to know.  Life can impact us in significant and debilitating ways.  I recall when I brought up my feelings about my mom divorcing my dad.  She snapped back – “Don’t try to send me on a guilt trip!” I had no idea what she was talking about.  I had innocently pressed the wrong button.   I had agitated a festering wound.  That ever happen to you or with you?  Let me add that years later we had some very healthy conversations about her divorce, but that was after her second beginning.

She underlined “They allow their past to control their future.” ^{(p27 note)} As children, by default, we don’t think of our parents as people with a past, sinners just like us, but they are.  And if you have children, by default, they don’t think of you that way either.  When you prove them wrong, when your feet of clay, your sinful and fallible self is exposed, well, it can make for a difficult family dynamic.  But, not one that God cannot heal and bring restoration.

“We are products of our past but don’t have to be prisoners of it.” ^{(p28 note)}  Did she feel like a prisoner, captured by her guilt over past sins?  She knew that her sins were forgiven, just like we know our sins are forgiven, and yet many times we have difficulty living in that truth.

She circled “happiness” and “relief”.  ^{(p28 note)} I wondered, is that what she felt or hoped to feel?  I prefer to think the former and not the latter.  Happiness and relief is the result of receiving and accepting forgiveness.  We can know that we are forgiven but we don’t live in the reality of being forgiven.  Very often there is a reminder of the consequence of our sin, like a son sharing his feelings about how a mother’s choices weighed heavy on his life.  As I said, at the time that I asked the question, my mom was not a Believer.   What did she have to offer me?  She needed forgiveness herself; restoration with the Father through the Son by faith before she could point me to Jesus. Which by the way she did later.

She underlined “Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent.”  ^{(p30 Note)} Who did she resent?  My father for one, I think.  Did she still resent him at the time she was reading that book?  Was God speaking to her heart?  Oh, how I wish I could ask her these questions.  Did reading this cause her to go to her knees and seek healing and help from the Lord?

Today our culture treats a broken marriage relationship like it was merely a high school crush.  It is so much more. It is a covenant between two people and with God.  It always brings brokenness. I did not say that God cannot bring healing, but we must not pretend that it is not a grievous act that ripples through generations not yet born. 

What about you?  Resentment leads to bitterness.  Bitterness is a thief that steals your joy and peace.  We have some pans that have metal handles.  When you cook with them, guess what, the handles get hot, really hot.  When you forget and grab the handles (any guesses about who might have done this?) you burn your hand.  Your immediate reflex is to pull your hand away.  To let go of the pot.  Why would you choose to hang on to the pot?  The same question applies to resentment.  Resentment will burn your heart.  Why would you want to hang on to it? Well, because you are convinced that you can’t let go of it.  No matter how much it hurts.  But you can! You can give it to Jesus.  (Matthew 11:28-29) “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” 

One of Martie’s, my wife, favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11 “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Mom underlined that too.  God had indeed done that in her life.  We must not allow our old nature, our past sins and tragedies in our lives to control our lives.  In John 10:10, Jesus said “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”  It’s true and it’s within your grasp. And the handle on that pan is not hot.

Mom wrote 

Psalm 32:1-5 “All my guilt is gone”
Now I experience, happiness, joy, relief.

How awesome is that! If I had any doubts, they were dispelled when I read that proclamation.  Mom had no idea that years later I would be reading her private words. Let alone that I would be sharing them with others. As strong of a Christian that she surely was, she was mortal, she had a past, but she was covered by the blood of the Lamb.  And in Him, she had happiness, joy and relief.

The same can be said for you, friend. In fact, that is my prayer and my purpose for writing this BLOG.  It’s for you!  I told a friend today that my writings are like a balloon filled with helium.  I release and let the wind take it where it may.  And so, I release the writings and let the Spirit take them where He may.  All to the glory of God.

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com