24 - Living For God

To the question posed on page 318 “Will you serve God’s purpose in your generation?” ^{(p318 note)} Mom wrote “Yes!” I think she wrote that in 2006 which meant she had 4 more years to serve before God called her home.  She underlined “Our purpose is to please God, not people.” ^{(p318 note)} At what point in your life you commit to serve God has nothing to do with how old you are, but with how surrendered you are.

Who are you most concerned about pleasing? Your family? Your spouse? Your boss? Perhaps, yourself. That is the natural view toward this life that we live.  Mom was human – living with the “tug-o-war” that goes on in everyone’s heart, every day. Just like every other Christian.  Living for God doesn’t happen on its own.  That life requires deliberate action on the part of the one living it.  Jesus said (Matthew 16:24) “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” That is a deliberate decision which must be made every day, not just once in a lifetime. Saying “no” to the natural and “yes” to the super-natural.

The Bibles gives us plenty of examples.  Some of the people were successful and some were not.  C'est la vie!  When Lot’s wife was told to leave Sodom behind – not to look back – she failed.  She could not subordinate her devotion to the natural to her devotion to God.  When the rich young man was told to get rid of his wealth – the thing that he loved more than God – and follow Jesus with nothing in the bank – he could not.  When the young man told Jesus that he had to bury his father before he could commit to follow Jesus, Jesus said “Let the dead bury the dead.  Making a distinction between the natural and the super-natural.  In each circumstance, the issue was one of their devotion of the heart.  They loved their natural life more than God.

Reading books like Purpose Driven Life, even the Bible, has no real benefit if the truth revealed is not embraced and applied by the reader. Although she was by no means perfect, mom’s desire was to live her life in a manner that pleased her Father in heaven – and not men.

Listen, knowledge, that is not applied, puffs up (1 Corinthians 8:1).  My hope is that in my sharing her thoughts – and my thoughts about her thoughts – has served to encourage you to embrace and apply the Truths that the Spirit has illuminated in your heart.  You have but one life to live on this planet.  Live it in pursuit of God’s purpose.  Don’t squander the opportunity that God has given you.

This will be the last post for this series.  In November I will endeavor to write a book with the hope that in doing so, I can continue to encourage the Saints to walk by faith with an expectation that God will be by their side.  I have not been released from helping in Houston or in Haiti, so that work will continue.

I will leave you by quoting Don Moen’s song “When It’s All Been Said And Done.”

“When it's all been said and done. There is just one thing that matters 
Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done. All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done for love's reward. Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great. That you look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay. Turning sinners into saints.

And I will always sing your praise. Here on earth and ever after
For you've shown me heavens, my true home. When it's all been said and done

You're my life when life is gone... “

Amen

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

23 - God Will Let You Know When You Are Done

Well, here we are, the last section of the book – Day 40 “Living With Purpose.”  Yes, we jumped over a number of pages.  I scanned them and did not find any of mom’s notes or annotations.  However, on page 312 she penned these words – “God prevailed in Charley’s life.”  Her comment was in reference to Acts 13:36 “Now when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his ancestors and his body decayed.” Why did she associate me with that verse? Let me explain.

February 2004 was a milestone in my spiritual journey.  Dr. Henry Blackaby would call it a spiritual marker.  Martie was in Texas with our daughter attending a funeral.  About mid-week, I experienced pain in the bottom of my left foot.  It became so uncomfortable that I could not stand for more than a few minutes at a time.  I went to our family physician a told him I thought I had a blood clot.  He x-rayed my foot and ankle and told me it was an injury from my Army days.  He gave me a prescription for Celebrex and sent me home.

The next day I noticed my heart was racing.  Checking the Celebrex bottle, a symptom was tachycardia – a hyper fast heartbeat.  So, I stopped taking it.  Fast forward to 2:00am the next morning.  It was getting worse. I called Martie and told her that I was going to the emergency room.  She got in her car and headed to Alabama.  At the emergency room, they treated me for a heart attack.  A nurse told me I was hyperventilating and gave me a paper bag to breath in to. About 15 minutes later, the doctor on duty stopped by.  (He happened to be the best cardiologist in Montgomery.) He told the staff I did not have a heart attack but had a pulmonary embolism and changed the treatment. (Actually, it turned out that I had two.  One in each lung.)

After several days of tests and treatment, the doctor told us that I was not improving and the only treatment option left had a very high risk.  It would dissolve every clot in my body, to include the good ones. He said if that happened I would bleed out and they could not stop it.  I asked if Martie and I could talk about it and when would he need an answer.  He answered, “Right now.” To which I replied, “I trust the God I serve and I trust you.  Let’s do it.” 

As it happened, I had just read Day 40 of the Purpose Driven Life.  I told Martie that I believed Acts 13:36 was for me.  That until I had fulfilled God’s purpose for me in my generation, I was not going anywhere. And once I have, no one can keep me here.  

That is why mom wrote “God prevailed. “She knew what had happened to me and how God had intervened.  I recall waking up one night in the hospital when a nurse opened the door to my room to check on me.  She said “You know that you are blessed, don’t you?” I said “yes I do.”  The whole staff on that floor knew that I had survived the un-survivable.  It was a miracle. I am certain that many knew that it was because God prevailed.

Like Paul, I have a thorn in my side to this day.  I was spared, but not completely healed.  My left leg still swells every day.  My lower calf is discolored because the blood clot in my leg became scar tissue and limits the blood flow.  I have partial lung capacity because of the damage caused by the embolisms. (This is the first time that I have shared this with anyone besides my wife. It seems to be the appropriate time.) They are ailments that serve to remind me of my absolute dependence upon God – every day.

Just yesterday I had the opportunity to share Acts 13:36 with a man who is seeking the Lord, trying to find meaning in his life.  (2 Corinthians 1:3-5) “the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”

Since 2004, our life has taken a turn.  We have spent most of the past 14 years serving others, and exercising the gifts that God has granted to us.  He has shaped us for His purpose.  So, what about you?  What is it that God has purposed for you?  He has one for you, you know.  It may not be like ours, but you can bet it will be for the good of mankind and the glory of God.  All you need to do is yield your life to God.

(Note: I think there will be at least one more post in this series.  This has been a joy and I trust it has been a source of encouragement to your faith as you walk in the Way.)

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

22 - Serving Even When You Are Tired, Weak and Worn

 “If you are part of God’s family, your mission is mandatory. To ignore it would be disobedience.” ^{(p283 note)} Mom added an exclamation mark (!) to that last sentence.  [She had plenty of reasons that might tempt her to say “I am done.”]  Was she struggling with fulfilling the mission God had assigned? When you think of “super-saints”, you really don’t imagine that they struggle with obedience.  The “demons” that assail them may seem trivial to most of us.  Perhaps like a gnat buzzing around your head as compared to say, a swarm of killer bees attacking you.  But, people in hot pursuit of God – wanting to be fully yielded to His will, are not willing to accommodate even a gnat. Not if it hinders their relationship with and obedience to the Father. 

Having said that, what I am about to say should not be construed to mean that I think I am more than I am. I am reminded of Romans 12:3. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”  In my estimation, I am not in the same league – spiritually – as mom and Don were. They were in the “Bigs” and I am struggling in the minor league.  Having said that, today, after working on restoring the Smith house in 100 degree weather, Martie asked me if I was tired.  

I answered, “Yes, I’m tired, but, then, I am always tired.” What we do is very difficult, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Her eyes welled up in tears.  She said, “I don’t want you to be tired.” When you serve God – you may find yourself in a difficult place – physically, emotionally, spiritually, even financially.  Maybe all four.  But that is not a reason to quit.  (Galatians 6:9) “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”  Just because I don’t complain or even comment does not mean that what I do does not take its toll on me.  The measure of being right with God’s purpose is not the ease of the mission, but the peace in your heart.

I imagine that mom wondered if she should continue to serve.  That thought buzzing around in her head like a little gnat.  Her desire was to go to heaven – but the Lord had a purpose for her and she was determined to be obedient to her calling.  And to that thought she said (!). [and so do I by the way!] 

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

21 - For Just being Two Letters – OK – Is A Big Word

OK – That was the word she wrote in the margin. OK? OK – What?  “When Peter’s sick mother-in-law was healed by Jesus, she instantly ‘stood up and began to serve Jesus.’ [Matthew 8:15] She began using her new gift of health.  This is what we are to do.  We are healed to help others.  We are blessed to be a blessing. We are saved to serve, not to sit around and wait for heaven.” ^{(p229 note)} That is what she said OK to.

No one would blame her if she did sit around – when compared to many other Christians – she had done more than enough serving for one lifetime.  But we are not the ones who get to decide when enough is enough.  We are not the captain of our ships and many mutiny against the captain.  We mutiny for the bounty – the bountiful, natural, comfortable life.  A life free of any worry, loss, or sacrifice.

Knowing how important my wife and I are to each other, I can only imagine what it would be like if one of us should be called home before the other.  We serve together like a hand in a glove. Then, suddenly, there is no hand to fill the glove or no glove to cover and protect the hand. It would only be natural to think the time to serve had also passed along with the one we loved. The super-natural truth is that it is God who shapes us, fills us, empowers us and provides the opportunities for service – not our mate.

Perhaps mom had been thinking that she should just wait for heaven, and then the Spirit spoke to her heart. The common temptation when the Spirit speaks is to dispel the thought.  1 Thessalonians 5:19 says “Do not quench the Spirit.” Why would we have to be told that if it were not going to be a problem, a temptation for us? The moment Mom wrote “OK” she had overcome the temptation, yielded her heart – her will, to the Spirit’s leading.  

Recently someone told me that after I finished the house I am working on, I could stop knowing that I had done enough. But, it is God who decides that, not me.  And with respect to your life, not you. Jesus said “if you seek the praise of men, you have your reward.” (Matthew 6:1) as such, it will not be men who decide what for the glory of God and the good of men will be.  Nor when that service will come to an end.  

“Anytime you are using your God-given abilities to help others, you are fulfilling your calling” ^{(p229 note)} Mom highlighted and underlined that sentence.  For her and, I think, for me. “He is the potter and we are the clay.  Mold me and make me.  Have thine own way, Lord, have thine own way.”

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

20 - A Servant's Heart

As I write these vignettes about my mom, I often find that I cannot elude the need to share my life in the process.  Although not by design it is proving to be cathartic in a way.  So, I ask for your indulgence if, now and again, I drift for a moment.  

Belview Nursing Home, Josephine, Evelyn, Bill, Jean, me, Billy, Roy, Rhoda. 6-29-06.  Those are the names mom wrote at the bottom of page 225. ^{(p225 note)} I have tried to imagine the connection.  Some of the names I know.  Belview Nursing Home is where mom and Don served the elderly for many years.  There are many forgotten people in those places.  Sometimes people are moved to a nursing home for good reasons and other times for not so good reasons, like the family did not want to be burdened.  That is where mom and Don stepped in.  Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another’s burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” When you do that it requires a sacrifice – you are going to get your hands dirty and maybe your heart hurt.  Mom and Don were never shy about stepping into difficult relationships – the selflessness was fueled by their faith.

Josephine was one of mom’s sisters.  The black sheep of the family.  I suspect that she was bi-polar.  But mom was her anchor.  Evelyn was a friend that I didn’t know much about.  Bill and Jean.  Bill was my biological father and Jean, his second wife.  There was always tension with them.  I think that is the rule and not the exception.  Mom once told me that Bill continued to pursue her even after she remarried.  Remember, she divorced him.  Divorces fracture lives and relationships.  I hear about amicable separations, like that somehow excuses the damage done.   Matters of the heart are so complex – so difficult – so painful.  God hates divorce and I have a few emotional scars that remind me of why exactly that is.

Mom wrote her won name, “me”.  This list was not only a list of those she had served.  So why did she write the names? And why in 2006?  That was fully three years after I gave her the book. Apparently, she had laid the book down and then picked it back up again. Looking at the scripture reference, 1 Corinthians 3:5-6, the verse was about our role in the lives of others – serving – planting the seed of the Gospel – watering that seed. Perhaps this was a list of those she had served, prayed for, shared the Gospel with – or in her case – had the eternal seed planted in her heart. God knows.

Then there was my name.  She used Billy.  My childhood nickname.  Most of you reading this did not know that. I am a third.  Charles Earl Elgin III.  My grandfather is pictured on the left with the four Elgin kids. And yes, that is me in the Oshkosh bibs with Grandpa Elgin trying to hold me still.  My grandfather went by Earl.  My dad by Bill.  When I was born they called me little Bill or Billy.  I was known as Bill until my Junior year in high school when I changed it to Charley or Chas (a name my sisters in the picture gave me). I tell people I was tired of explaining why, if my name was Charles, they called me Bill.  Actually, thinking about it, I think that I was distancing myself from my association with my dad – and more directly with the pain in my heart.

 I don’t know who Roy and Rhoda were, but obviously they were people who were significant to her for one reason or another. 

“The last thing many believers need today is to go to another bible study.  They already know far more that they are putting into practice.” “I am looking for a place to serve and be a blessing.” “Whose needs can I meet?” ^{(p231 note)} When mom underlined those sentences she was about 80 years old.  There is no age limit on serving.  The picture on the left was taken in the fall of 2005 behind Christus Victor Lutheran Church in Ocean Springs, MS.  Pictured are Barb Plattner, Mom, Martie, me, and Sherry Buresh.  Mom was 80 years old.  Martie and I were helping with Disaster Relief after Hurricane Katrina.  Mom wanted to come and help so Barb drove her down.  They both worked in the food distribution center.  Behind us and to the right was our home away from home.  Barb and mom slept on cots in a common room with many other volunteers.  

Imagine if a business decided to lay off all of its experienced employees and left it to the new people who were just learning the ropes.  That is what many churches do today.  They shuffle the “old people”, the “seniors” off to a room by themselves.  They put them on a bus headed for Branson, MO.  It is as if they have no spiritual value. And to make matters worse, most of the “seniors” buy into it and retire from service.  (That is why Martie and I refuse to go to a seniors’ class on Sunday morning.) Mom was, even then, wanting to serve – to meet someone’s needs – to share her wisdom. A word of advice to you – don’t get on that bus!  Serve until the Lord calls you home. 

19 - When Being Good Just Isn't Good Enough

When I read mom’s note on page 178, two things came to mind.  First, it reminded me again of my mom’s great love for her husband.  Second, it reminded me of the great transformation in the life of my step-dad.  Don had always been a wonderful role model for me. Even before Jesus, he was kind, responsible, patient, especially with my mom.  He was a hard worker.  He provided for the family – all seven of us, the best he could.  

Like many second marriages there was a tension between the families.  As one of the four older children from the first marriage we all knew that we were not Piersons.  Not ever from Don, but from his sisters and parents.  I never had a harsh word spoken to me, but I knew there was a relational line for the four of us that we could never cross.  I once asked Don if I could call him Dad.  He told me “No, you have a dad.”  He wasn’t being mean, but respectful. But, what he did not seem to understand is that I wanted him to be my dad. And I must confess, to this day, when I say “Don”, in my mind and heart, I am saying “Dad”. Funny, but even now when I refer to him in a conversation, I still stumble over the word, Don.

Divorce in the 50’s and 60’s was not a prevalent as it is today.  To my recollection, we were the only children in our grade school whose last names did not match our mother’s. When asked why our name was different, it made me feel like I had done something wrong. There was something wrong, but it was not my fault and no one would tell me that. All that to say, Don did the best he could to overcome those challenges.  He never treated us differently from the younger siblings, his biological children.   He was a good man.  But when it comes to God, good is not good enough.  When a young man referred to Jesus as “Good Teacher” Jesus replied (Mark 10:18) Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone.”  As good a man as Don was, he was not good enough.  None of us are.  We can’t live the Christian life apart from the power of God, the presence of His Spirit, and our will submitted to the will of the Father. 

Mom knew Don in a way that we did not.  We knew him as children, while she knew him as her husband, intimately. Intimacy between and husband and wife has more than the sexual connotation that our culture ascribes to the word today.  A speaker once described it as meaning “into me see”.  A deeper understanding of who a person is.  And she saw the change that took place in Don’s life, after his new beginning.

So how does it happen and why doesn’t God just “scoop us up to heaven” when we are saved?  “God gives us time on earth to build and strengthen our character for heaven” ^{(p173 note)} I think mom was wanting to be in heaven when she was reading the PDL.  The Bible says (Hebrews 9:27) “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.”  We are all going to die, unless Jesus returns first.  God does not tell you when you will die and certainly not how you will die.  But you will die one day.  Until then, God will continue to work in your life, conforming you into the image of His Son, if you allow it that is.

“Everything … connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through.  Get rid of it!” ^{(p175 note)} Mom saw that happen in Don’s life.  “The old passing away, all things becoming as new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) And she thanked the Lord for it.  She saw Jesus in Him and so did we.  It made me want to be like him even more.

“If you study and apply God’s Word, connect regularly with other believers, and learn to trust God in difficult circumstances, I guarantee you will become more like Jesus.” ^{(p176 note)} When mom underlined these words, I am fairly certain she was thinking about Don.  That is who I think about.  And I also think about my mom who followed in Don’s footsteps. Just like I am doing.  Do you have a Don in your life, who is living proof that faith in Jesus can and will transform your life? If you don't you need one!

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com

18 - Making God First In Your Life Requires Sacrifice

Something that I noticed about Mom was the deep relationship she had with the Lord.  Rick Warren wrote “God wants more than an appointment in your schedule.  He wants to be included in every activity, every conversation, every problem, even every thought” ^{(p87 note)} 

I could see that in her life.  After Don’s passing, Jesus was her focus.  I heard a pastor once say “Most people don’t know Jesus is all they need until Jesus is all they have.”  It is so easy to let your primary devotion be to the one you can see rather than the one you can’t see.  There is a relational tension.  Hopefully your love for your spouse is primary with respect to your earthly relationships. But God wants that relationship to be secondary to your relationship with Him.  

I remember Mom talking to me about her struggle with the fact that she, at times, felt that she loved Don more than Jesus.  It is a problem that started in the Garden.  Adam was faced with a dilemma.  Listen to God or listen to Eve.  He chose poorly.  But, after Don’t passing, although she longed for Don to be back in her life, on earth or in heaven, her life was focused on her relationship with the Lord.  

Martie and I use Amos 3:3 (among others) as a guide in our walk of faith.  “How can two walk together unless they be agreed?” The Bible says (Mark 10:6-8) “Jesus replied.  “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” So we reasoned, If we are “one” why would God speak to one half and not the other half? We must agree that it is God and not our own idea.  One might be excited and the other fearful, but we both must agree that it is God.  Even in a strong relationship that is Christ-centered, there is a temptation to choose the spouse over God.  

On a number of occasions, Jesus told people who said they wanted to follow Him that they must choose Him over family.  Martie and I have agreed that we will not do anything where there is disagreement between us.  The assumption is that our primary interest and motivation is in serving and obeying God and preserving our comfort and security in our natural relationships and worldly possessions. We love each other but we, each, love God more.  If you are not careful, your relationship with your spouse or family can become a god in your life.  A priority that you may feel justified in defending.  But if you put anyone before God, you will be wrong. Are you willing to put your marriage, your family on the altar before God? Think about it.

Note: Taken from The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren Copyright © 2002 by Rick Warren. Use by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com